Hello John,

First of all may I say what an inspired website - it mirrors many of our own thoughts and experiences since moving to France 6 years ago - although we came with eyes open and with the advantage of having lived in France previously as an immigrant (ex-pat) with my work.

In our case the most difficult part was the point at which we had to return to England following five years working in Paris.

My company posted me to France in 1991 and we saw it as a great adventure - but then we had moved house on average every four years during 24 years of marriage, so we weren't the type to stay in any place too long. Despite the excitement of moving to France, the move was traumatic - particularly for the children - who had decided in advance that they were not going to like it. Had it been for any other reason than work we would probably have dropped the idea immediately and stayed put. To be fair our move was cushioned enormously by the support given by the company in terms of housing, schools, taxation, residence permits, driving licences and all the other beaurocracy associated with arrival in a new country. Without all these things to worry about we decided to throw ourselves into a largely French community to live, and avoided the ex pat "hot spots". It was probably the best decision we ever made - however the "down?" side was that it would spoil us for life.

After five years of living and holidaying here the time came to return to England. Our delightful offspring, who had been so against the move, didn't want to go back (for that matter neither did we). Our daughter stayed here to finish her schooling - she was the lucky one.

If the move to France had been traumatic - it was nothing compared to our return to England. This wasn't a problem with housing - we had rented our house during our absence - it was largely to do with the cultural change, and the fact that time doesn't stand still.

Our previous friends and neighbours were still around but our outlook on life had changed to such an extent that we really didn't have so much in common any more and, of course, they had moved on as well. We found ourselves having to make new friends, which we found to be more difficult in England than in France.

The leisurely train journey from Versailles and the gentle walk down through La Defense (often punctuated by a coffee in a local bar ) to the office was replaced by a horrendous three hour round trip to London and back on a train only fit for cattle. Instead of arriving at work invigorated, I was ready to turn around and go straight back home.

Despite French beaurocracy, I found that I was becoming even less tolerant of the English version which, although "appearing" more friendly, was just as irksome. At least the French say what they think and don't try to cloak it with platitudes. Provided you do your homework and make sure you have everything you need in terms of paperwork (the more the better) then the system is not difficult to navigate. We have found the taxation people, rates department, vehicle licencing etc. nothing if not helpful and polite. Our rates officer even informed us that we had been filling out our rates returns incorrectly for three years and helped us re submit the forms and get a rebate that we didn't know we were entitled to.

Politeness and sociability was gone from our streets and shops - in stark contrast to what we had experienced in France, particularly in the rural areas.

We stuck it out for 18 months until I finally orchestrated early retirement. Three months later we had sold the house and were back in France and buying a property in the Limousin. We have been here now for 6 years and have no intention of ever moving again. They will carry me out of here in a box. We are part of a community once more. We live more gently and enjoy the simple things in life with our neighbours. We run a couple of successful gites to supplement the pension, which unlike full time employment, does not attract the horrendous level of social charges and taxation however, on the whole, we avoid other "immigrants". We have a motto: "If you wouldn't make friends with them in England, then don't make friends with them here". One whinge about the French way of life and they are cut off in mid sentence! It still amazes me how many people I come across who have never taken the trouble to learn the language - it's pivotal. How can you expect anyone to help you if you are too lazy to learn the language of the country you live in? It's plain bad manners.

I have one other warning - if you are here to retire then make sure that you have plenty to fill your time. It may seem idyllic to sit in the shade sipping a cool drink all day, but when the long winter nights come then inactivity and isolation can drive you up the wall and ruin a marriage.

One whinge only - why oh why don't the television programmers in England stop feeding up this drivel about moving to France and for once broadcast a series on those that returned!!

No, France isn't perfect, it's just another country with very different traditions and culture. Unless you are prepared to take the good along with the bad, have a sense of humour, and endless patience, then don't come. Embrace them wholeheartedly and the chances are that eventually you will be lured and have a happy life - ie you will become French. Try to bring England with you and you are doomed to failure and disappointment - you will drown in your own baggage!

PS (Some of your contributors are evidently either eating at the wrong restaurants or have failed to find a fish and chip shop nearby!)